What a week ....

So this was most likely one of the hardest weeks ever!


First - I was sick on Thursday night and it got so bad that I had to go to the emergency room on Saturday night to only be told that all my test look fine and I need to follow up with my regular doctor! It just irritates me when a doctor basically tells me that nothing is wrong with me, but really I'm in so much pain it feels like I'm being stabbed to death, but he's the doctor so I must be fine. And the next day Eric went on a mini trip to Virginia. I'm lucky I have such a wonderful family because my sister Dusti came over and has been my slave for a couple of days!



Second - I went to see my doctor about my broken back and he thinks that we should operate on it. I got to tell you it made me feel good to hear that. Not because I can't wait to be sliced open and bed-ridden for months, but because I'll have the peace of mind knowing that my top half of my body will now be connected to the bottom half like any other normal person and I wont have any more pain and I'll be able to walk normal again! So that made me happy until reality sunk in and ...


Third - I had to call our social worker and let them know that I would be having a major surgery on my spine and would be out for a few months. Well like I said reality sunk in and Eric and the social worker don't feel like having Alexis during my recovery time would be the best thing for her and she is going to have to be moved to another foster family. It just breaks my heart. She is only 4 and this will be her 4th home she is being moved to. It's so sad. I feel like I had to choose between her and getting myself better and I hate that. There is a chance that we can get her back, but it just depends on how good she is doing with her new family when the time comes that I'm feeling better. It's going to be hard to let her go because she is such a important piece of my heart - it makes me really stressed out and so unhappy.


And just for the cherry to top it all off a small piece of my tooth also broke off last night. I wasn't even eating - I was just sitting there and felt something hard in my mouth - yup it was a part of my tooth! What is going on with me?! GRRRRR!


So I just ask that you guys can pray for me to find some peace with everything that is going on and that I become less stressed out, for Eric to have patience and understanding about how I feel about loosing Alexis, and for Alexis to be happy where ever she goes and that her new family will love her just as much as I love her. I know that God has a plan for everything and it's not turning out how I would have liked it to but I hope that we can just sit back on this crazy ride and be happy where ever God takes our lives.